Janeane Garofalo Quotes

I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.

I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

We're our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.

There's nothing wrong with the word conspiracy. It just means 'to breathe together.'

The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.

All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?

It is just as painful to me when I do poorly. If the fault is all mine, that's what's painful. If it's a situation where no one could have succeeded, I don't feel as bad.

You know, I have no web presence, and I don't know that there's many people who really do know me that much anymore.

Protesting the color of a man's skin is not a worthy protest.

I don't even know why somebody's Twittering as me. I don't understand it, and I wish that it would stop. But there's nothing that can be done. It's so terrible.

If you don't recognize the racist element in the teabag movement, you're either dishonest, or you've never seen the teabag movement, or heard of it, or been acquainted with it in any way.

I've got no problem with religion if you're going to use it for the good, like Gandhi or Martin Luther King. But that's rarely the case when it comes to politics. It's usually used as a con.

I was terrified of being on television - and also I overcompensated, I'm sure, because I know I did this in my personal life too at the time, when I was younger.

I was too ignorant to realize, "Oh, this will be difficult."

I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.

Sometimes I am very pleased with lifestyle and sometimes I feel utterly worthless because I have so few interests.

As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.

I make jewelry occasionally. I'm not a hobbyist. I'm a reader, I'm a lover of books, I like to watch movies, but mostly a lot of nothing. I'm quite content doing very little.

For some reason I get advertised when I travel as a political comedian, which I'm not. Sometimes I talk about it and sometimes I don't.

Until as women we all say, No! We are not going to starve ourselves, nothing is going to change. We're our own worse enemies sometimes but I still blame men.

Should have dogs before they have kids. Everybody.

I'm grateful for any opportunity to act.

Silence does not equal patriotism. Obedience is not the American way.

If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.

I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why exactly.

Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.

How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American?

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.

I think we all remember where we were when Rush Hour hit the water. That was an important day.

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

TV, it's a director's medium, and they wanna make it look interesting. To be rehearsing mostly for the sake of where you're standing so they can do the lighting, that's what I don't like.

I'm almost 46. You become no longer even regarded in a sexual way. As you get older you're just taken out of that realm. So it's not anything that particularly confronts me very much at all.

You can't have cinema by committee if you're trying to do it well.

Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.

You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.

The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.

Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.

My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.

Sometimes the critics review me harshly for not being critical of government but it's not me who has said I was political.

You just need an opportunity and then you yourself have to do a good job, and then you hope that people go, 'Oh yeah, I forgot about her.'

I don't know who you're referring to exactly who said, 'What has Iraq done to us?'

I don't know that I would need to be famous as a Middle East policy expert to see that unilateral imperialism is bad policy.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

Irrational crushes, infatuations, or obsessions. Whatever you want to label it, it's important to reach out to others.

Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.

It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.

No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!

Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.

A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.