Janet Evanovich Quotes

I think money isn't any good sitting around, so I spend some time in the shoe department at Saks.

Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.

Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me. It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue.

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.

You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you." "You are such a cop." "Tell me about it.

I like being able to provide consistent and frequent literary choices for my fans.

I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying.

I don't want my readers slowed down by long passages of narrative.

He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.

Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion

I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.

If you want to cry, you're not going to like my books.

Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula

Concentrate on doing the job, not the fear.

Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.

Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly.

I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality.

Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.

It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away.

I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.

Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy. "I'll try," Ziggy said, "but it's a hard habit to break.

No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.

It's the twenty-first century." I told Tank. "Women drive." "Only in my bed," Tank said. "Never in my car.

I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.

Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside.

I buy wine according to the bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table

THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.

My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.

Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist." "Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.

I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean

Connie drove a silver Camry with rosary beads hanging from her rearview mirror and a Smith& Wesson stuck under the seat. No matter whatwent down, Connie was covered.

I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.

I did such a gigantic eye roll I almost fell over.

That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.

I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.

Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped - Ranger

Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli

Your life isn't out of control. It's expanded.

The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.

I almost never shoot people.

You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)

Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.

I hate mornings. They start so early.

You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!

How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.

You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens," Grandma said.

I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.

Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said. Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.

You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.