Janet Evanovich Quotes

You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think?" Stuart Bagget

Cupcake, your middle name is trouble.

I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit?" Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush." Mary Lou Molnar

It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence." Joe Morelli

There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect" Stephanie

Bullets are creepy." Stephenie

This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe." Ranger

I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." Grandma Mazur

I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb." Morelli

The way I see it, living in New Jersey is a challenge, what with the toxic waste and the eighteen wheelers and the armed schizophrenics." Connie Rosolli

I write to entertain. When people read one of my books I want them to finish with a smile on their faces, feeling a little bit better about themselves and the people in their lives.

I'm for sure a workaholic. I'm a complete control freak and I take on way too many projects.

By about the sixth romance I knew I wasn't in exactly the right place. I liked writing action. And I wanted to write a book with a little more edge than I was allowed in romance.

When you get ready to write your novel, outline it first. There's nothing worse than getting halfway through and realizing you've painted yourself in a plot corner.

When I was painting, I was painting stories I was telling myself. When I look back at it, moving to writing was a very natural progression for me.

Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.

I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.

Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off, " he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.

Babe!

I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman." -Ranger to Stephanie

Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please, " he said.Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay, " I said. "Be careful. He's insane.

Your on your on with this one babe.""Coward.""Calling me names isn't going to get me in there."-Ranger and Stephanie

Maybe it was me, " Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks, " I said to Ziggy."I'll try, " Ziggy said, "but it's a hard habit to break.

...Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff?" - Aunt Edna

Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.-Lula

Money isn’t everything.’‘The only people who say that are people who have enough money to pay the rent.

If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."Ranger

You gonna take the case?"It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of."You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, " Grandma said.

Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: "Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Diesel sucked air. "You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.""I'm not fondling you. I'm looking for the keys!""Could you look a little more gently? You're scaring my boys.

That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies.

I've noticed you only speak ghetto half of the time." - Stephanie"I'm multi-lingual, " Rancher said.I followed him to the door, feeling jealous, wishing I knew a second language.

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang, " Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.

Aren't you something, " Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person, " Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.

Almost everybody I know has died, ” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco,

In my father’s scheme of things, there were Italians and then there was the rest of the world.

He blew himself up.”“Get out! You mean like guts all over the place?”“Not all over the place, ” I said. “He was pretty well contained, all things considered.

I could help you, ” I said. “Counseling, drugs, a religious advisor, a girlfriend.

I don’t get writer's block because I don’t believe in it. I believe you sit in front of the computer and force your fingers to get something on the screen.

Lots of times I’m not crazy about the writing, but I keep moving ahead and somehow it gets better. The important thing is to move forward.

He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.

I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas." She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long far. "Excuse me, " she said.

Sure, he was attracted to her, but women always had to go beyond that.Women [had] nesting fantasies. It wasn't long before they wereredecorating your apartment and criticizing your choice of mustard.

So you need an alarm system because you gonna be in bad neighborhoods?""Actually, I sort of stole a car, and I'm afraid the owner will try to get it back.