Jasper Fforde Quotes

He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus.

He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers." - Dad "Did he now? What a strange fellow. I would have done it the other way around." - Stafford

Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics; nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.

A good butler should save his employer's life at least once a day.

Every book should have a romance.

I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.

I got Oedipus off the incest charge--technicality, of course--he didn't know it was his mother at the time.

Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.

I work very much on the principle that anything created by mankind has mischief and error hardwired into its inception.

People who read my books have an open mind when it comes to new, bizarre, interesting and exciting ideas.

Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.

I also read about Heathcliff's unexpected three-year career in Hollywood under the name Buck Stallion and his eventual return to the pages of Wuthering Heights.

If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.

Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.

For an author just starting out, you've got to deliver the goods every year or sooner or people will forget you or you will lose momentum. There is a contract that exists between author and reader.

Vanity's contribution to Fiction in general was an abundance of cheap labour and the occasional blockbuster, which was accepted into Fiction with an apologetic 'gosh, don't know how that happened'.

Now and again. Good residency is about having the power to ask someone to do something, but not necessarily exercising it.

So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?

I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats.

The very possibility of death focuses the mind wonderfully.

Chromatacia…society…ruled by a colortocracy…social hierarchy based upon one's limited color perception, society is dominated by color. In this world, you are what you can see.

Those that can be troubled to muse upon the meaning of life are general disappointed when they figure it out.

Before, I suspected I might not amount to anything, and now I now I won't, so at least it takes away the wearisome burden of delusive hope

Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own.

The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp, which cast shadows so hard it seemed you might cut yourself on them.

…although her mouth uttered fond words, her eyes spoke only venom.

For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas.

Another one of your quippy japes?

7. 3. 12. 31. 208: Reckless disrespect of the lightless hours will not be tolerated.

People don’t change just because you know more about them.

Though his death would not fill me with any sense of sadness, I would probably feel the loss. Even enemies are part of one.

Magic is the fifth fundamental force and is even more mysterious than gravity, which is really saying something.

The only way to write is to write. Writers write. And when they’ve written, they write some more.

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is...

I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can't be usual to go to your favorite memory only to find someone already there, admiring the view ahead of you.

I'm beginning to think you're the sort of person who does a great deal with very little."He meant a liar.

In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash.

Keep your head down, Edward. Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this--in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer--and at your hands.

There's more to good or bad than what's written in the Rulebook.

Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances.

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be.

I am boring, but I'm ok with it. I'm the anchor, the shoulder...I'm an average man...with a truly extraordinary wife

The course of true love rarely runs smooth.

You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?''Wow, ' she said, 'you got it. I thought I was going to have to explain that one for a lot longer.

I got mixed up with some oddness in my youth, and the long and short of it is that I can't shuffle off this mortal coil until I have read the ten most boring classics.

Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

Curiosity is a descending stair…that leads to only who-knows-where.

Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn't collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs.

Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners