Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.