Jerry Quotes

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

We can't just have mainstream behavior on television in a free society, we have to make sure we see the whole panorama of human behavior.

Bold simplicity is the keynote to good design.

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

America is still mostly xenophobic and racist. That's the nature of America, I think.

if you learn to hate one or two persons... you'll soon hate millions of people.

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.

The camera basically is a license to explore.

Three means by which God assures us that we do have eternal life: 1. The promises of His Word, 2. The witness of the Spirit in our hearts, 3. The transforming work of the Spirit in our lives.

The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Monday Night Football. That was everything to me because you get a chance to show everybody what you're capable of. It's only two teams on that Monday night.

If I were president of the United States, I would include Moslems in my presidency.

The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs.

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright, Of soft and golden hue, Pierce through the future's veil and show, What fate now holds for you?

It's very difficult to release an X-rated movie.

John Baldessari, the 79-year-old conceptualist, has spent more than four decades making laconic, ironic conceptual art-about-art, both good and bad.

The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

I am a child of America. If ever I'm sent to Death Row for my revolutionary 'crimes,' I'll order as my last meal: a hamburger, french fries, and a coke.

I sincerely believe that the collective efforts of many secularists during the past generation, resulting in the expulsion from our schools and from the public square, has left us vulnerable.

Anybody who makes an outlandish salary obviously attracts attention.

You're a transsexual fighting with a hermaphrodite over a mistress.

The Enemy of the best is the good. If you're always settling with what's good, you'll never be the best.

The gospel is not only the most important message in all of history; it is the only essential message in all of history.

I know of nobody who is purely autistic, or purely neurotypical. Even God has some autistic moments, which is why the planets spin.

Every minute doing one thing is a minute not doing something else. Every choice is another choice not made another path grown over lost.

We are even better looking on the small screen

In 19 years Stockton never once lost a suicide drill in practice. Well, there was one day. He was sick. But he still ran it

One thing that you hope for when you want to be a musician is that you have that recognizable sound.

One of the biggest reasons I bought the Lakers was to beat the Celtics.

She Got The Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft.

Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don't rent them out to tomorrow.

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Photography is just light remembering itself.

Too much of a good thing is just about right

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold.

Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!

Reason #7 For Not Getting a Tattoo: People will know you are running your own life, instead of listening to them!

I'm hard-nosed about luck...If you're persistent in trying and doing and working, you almost always make your own fortune.

Make sure you visualize what you really want, not what someone else wants for you.

When you are led by values, it doesn't cost your business, it helps your business.

Everybody has an angel hiding inside. When you die, your angel comes out. You can die, but not your angel. Your angel never dies.

If the history of science shows us anything, it is that we get nowhere by labeling our ignorance “God”.

It's good to stand for something, to believe in something and base your business on values.

Competition is a painful thing, but it produces great results.

In my opinion, Jesus is God's attempt to reach man. But while I believe Jesus is the way to God, it makes no sense to hate people who disagree.

His hooves pound the beat, your heart sings the song.

When you own nothing, it's easy to let things go.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Life is populated with scarecrows—all those people and things that seem so scary and trouble our sleep. Isn't it nice to know that most of them turn out to be made of nothing but straw?