Jilly Cooper Quotes

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon.

The male - I have found - is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.

I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half.

Youve simply got to go on and on with your family and friends and tell them how much you love them because you never know whether theyll be there tomorrow, do you?

At home I have big vats of cabbage soup that I make to slim down.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

I love the long grass coming up to meet the willows.

And I would really like to be a grandmother, but only when Felix or Emily meet the right person and are ready.

I was so flattered that someone wanted me to write a book, I said I would. It was published in 1969.

I'm basically a very happy person and I don't have to be anybody else.

I think we ought to have a kindness year, or a kindness century.

Leo, sadly, has Parkinsons, but he used to cook all sorts of dazzling things.

I live at home and, if I want to start work at 11 o'clock, I can.

People who can write a book usually do.

I'd never have written the big books in London.

If you feel compelled to give a New Year's Eve party, don't invite people to arrive too early or they'll go off the boil before midnight.

I can assure you that the class system is alive and well and living in people's minds in England.

I think it bespeaks a generous nature, a man who can cook.

Without doubt, keep a diary. From the day you're born, keep a diary, because we all forget things so quickly.

My own parents loved each other very much.

It must be a terrible pressure to have to go to the office.

Always be nice to everyone in the firm on the way up. You never know who you may meet on the way down.

Meetings ... are rather like cocktail parties. You don't want to go, but you're cross not to be asked.

I'm not wild about holidays. They always seem a ludicrously expensive way of proving there's no place like home.

But I always seem to finish a book and then think, oh God, I've got to pay a tax bill, so I'd better write a novel, so I tend not to stop and learn word processing.

There is something infinitely dingy about the word workshop. Pray that England doesn't become a nation of workshopkeepers.

Although it is the biggest time-waster in office life, you must never underrate the importance of the memo. You will be judged by the volume of your paper work.

But really I'm not terribly interested in what I eat.

I would really like to spend more time with the family. Every time I go abroad I miss them all dreadfully.

Go to lots of interviews, at least one a month even when you don't need a job, to keep in training for when you do.

There is nothing more attractive than a man who is not a New Man.

I wrote my earliest piece for The Sunday Times about being a young wife.

A lot of meetings are held to arrange when to have meetings. ... Meetings today are usually called conferences to make them sound more significant.

in a village you can't sack or fight with someone, as you'll find yourself stuck beside them in the hairdresser's next morning.

hurting other people is not excusable because you've been hurt yourself.

Bachelors begin at thirty-six. Up till this age they are regarded as single men.

The memo's chief function ... is as a track-coverer, so that you can turn on someone six months later and snarl: 'Well, you should have known about it, I sent you a memo.