Jim Quotes

I wouldnt want to be reincarnated as a butler. I couldnt for the life of me do the job in real life.

In the world we make good as evil and evil as good.

Faith to me it’s believe without seeing, it’s how you live your life, how you are authentic.

Recognition is the most inexpensive, easy-to-use motivational technique available to management.

It does take a great hunger to be successful at anything.

When you lack cohesion, it becomes difficult to have a clear marketing strategy.

Unbelievable, yet, what else could it be?

I am doing my best to find it. I will find it before the public finds it. I will get out of it before it's too late. The reason I will do that is because that's what I'm paid to do.

I remember as a kid watching TV and seeing Mel Blanc doing his voices and Paul Winchell doing his ventriloquism and thinking, 'Those guys are having a good time. I want to do that.'

Don Karnage-he's one of my all-time favorites. He's so brash and so bold and so arrogant-and he just doesn't know what he's doing.

Darkwing Duck and Don Karnage are the most fun to do, because they're both probably the closest to me - I kinda improvise a lot of them, kinda ad lib.

Sometimes at drive-thrus I go into Winnie the Pooh and ask for a jar of honey.

When we see only what we want to see in the Bible, it loses all power to transform us.

I thought you were dead, Mr. McCandles.

When you're through with your cat, you can't throw it in the trash.

Allow states to opt out of No Child Left Behind.

The best songs don't get recorded; the best recordings don't get released; and the best releases don't get played.

Why are the ones who are too good to be true always being true to someone else?

No one warns young people to follow Adam's example. He waited till God saw his need. Then God made Adam sleep, prepared for his mate, and brought her to him.

I have looked back on situations and thought that I could have handled a few differently and probably better.

I set very high standards for myself and worked every game with the same energy and enthusiasm as if it were the seventh game of a World Series.

Managers have very tough jobs. I always respected their job but demanded respect in return.

When I was 14, I played in a summer league. One night the chief umpire asked me if I would like to try umpiring. There was a Little League tournament coming up and he needed more umpires than he had.

As a youngster, I played in Little League, Pony League, and all sorts of amateur baseball programs growing up.

My dad was a carpenter and I would work with him during the summer and umpire on the nights I wasn't playing.

The vast majority of people who watch baseball can properly call 95% of all plays that happen on the field. My job is to teach you how to call the other 5%.

My main objective is to prepare candidates for professional baseball; however, the majority of our graduates will go home as much better qualified amateurs.

Looking back on those games, I probably hustled out of position as much as I hustled into position since I really never had any real training. I was working on instincts alone.

Anyone interested in becoming a professional umpire and becoming eligible to work in the minor leagues must attend one of the two umpire schools sanctioned by Major League Baseball.

No one respects the umpire's job more than I do; but, if I were a manager, I would probably be ejected three or four times a season fighting for my team.

After one year in the Texas League, the American League bought the rights to my contract. They optioned me back to the Texas League for the 1970 season.

I had a great first year and Mr. MacDonald was my biggest supporter. He gave me the encouragement I needed that first year to get my career started on a positive note.

I reached the point where I actually enjoyed the umpiring more than playing.

A story - with a message about praising what have rather than criticizing what haven't: There are some people who knock the pyramids because they don't have elevators!!!

Public service is good for you.

I had travelled pretty widely around the world even before then, so I knew where to go to film wildlife.

Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.

I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.

You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"

It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.

I feel like, even in this crazy world of Trump getting elected and these things that really kind of caught me off-guard, I feel like I understand less than I did.

I grew up 45 minutes outside of Chicago.

The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?

I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

A man after God's own heart is... a man who yearns to please God, a man who desires to grow spiritually, a man who had a heart that obeys.

Spiritual joy is what you experience when you choose to give thanks to God no matter what happens-even when things go wrong.