Joe Rogan Quotes

Once you understand what excellence is all about... you see how that excellence manifests itself in any discipline.

I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else.

Like bees creating a beehive or ants creating an anthill we're all moving along creating something and we're not sure what it is.

Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much.

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.

People are scared man, they're scared of the void.

Every single religion that has ever been on the face of the Earth, ever, is a cult. That’s all they are.

A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense.

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.

The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers.

Having the privilege of sitting down and having 3 hour long uninterrupted conversations with hundreds of brilliant people is an awesome perspective enhancer.

Reality really is theater. There's no other way to describe it. It's all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.

The best way to pursue any discipline is the martial art way.

Houston people are way cool. They're smart, they know how to have a good time, and they have the hottest chicks on the planet there.

If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

People love to see people fall.

Most of my bits are long stream-of-consciousness- type things, and when I'm doing them onstage, other places to take the theme or idea will hit me, and I just go with it.

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.

Your body's really only meant to compete at the highest levels of combat sports for a few years.

I thought eventually I'd have a family and I really didn't want to be a loser like that guy in his 40s still shopping his band's shitty demo tapes around.

I want to talk about the nature of human beings or how we're evolving as a race.

It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in.

Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality.

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.

It's impossible to measure the type of mental strength and determination that's required to be an elite wrestler.

There's a confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level of competition, whatever the sport is. Whether it's boxing or wrestling, or whatever.

I've done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It's a big part of mixed martial arts.

When I first went onstage I even had a suit jacket on with the sleeves rolled up because that's what I saw on TV or at the Improv that everybody did.

I'm a nightclub comic. That's what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are the thoughts that I have. I do the kind of comedy that I would enjoy seeing.

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.

Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.

Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.

The Comedy Store in LA, it's a really loose room and it's really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.

Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.

I love existing in pre big bang conditions.

You want to talk about the word faggot because it really offends you? Well you're a douchebag.

If the world was an etch-a-sketch, glaciers are the big shake.

People for the most part can smell lies.

I like LA because it has a giant supply of great comedians.

When a ball goes into a net it only means something because we decided it means something. When somebody punches somebody in the face it always means something.