Joe Quotes

I grew up a misfit. I never fit in.

When I'd be out-and-about at a club and the music would come on, I was never the guy that was gonna dance. But after Magic Mike - I have like two or three go-to moves. That's what Magic Mike gave me.

I believe in health care reform. I don't believe in the way this bill was passed.

I know firsthand how agonizing waiting can be.

I can assure you that my wife and I - every penny of income we've ever had, our taxes were paid in West Virginia.

I don't know anyone in the hunting or sporting arena that goes out with an assault rifle.

I think it's time to rebuild America.

Why would anybody not own a gun?

We're obviously having a tough time, like the other teams did.

One thing that's great about being a character actor is that a movie doesn't rest on your shoulders. If it bombs, it won't hurt my career.

Now flip, flop, and fly, I don't care if I die.

Anonymous sources are a practice of American journalism in the 20th and 21st century, a relatively recent practice. The literary tradition of anonymity goes back to the Bible.

If you keep performing, and if you stay healthy, you keep playing.

Hockey has given me everything, most importantly it brought me to Swift Current, where I met my wife Deb.

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates.

Winning does solve everything.

Be humble and grateful for what you have and the universe will reward your gratitude.

Duncan became a legend before he became a player at Everton.

Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

When one eye is fixed upon your destination, there is only one eye left with which to find the Way.

Questions to ask yourself: Are you a good teacher? Who would know? You would. Your students. Your friends. Your God. Not a bad audience, that!

The Comedy Store in LA, it's a really loose room and it's really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.

Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.

Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.

I'm a nightclub comic. That's what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are the thoughts that I have. I do the kind of comedy that I would enjoy seeing.

I think it's important to watch out for our environment and to be careful.

I've got my library card and i'm checking you out!

When I first went onstage I even had a suit jacket on with the sleeves rolled up because that's what I saw on TV or at the Improv that everybody did.

I went to sleepaway camp seven years in a row. I was such a pro.

I've done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It's a big part of mixed martial arts.

There's a confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level of competition, whatever the sport is. Whether it's boxing or wrestling, or whatever.

I've gone through a lot of stuff in my life so far. There are stories I haven't really been able to tell.

Elizabeth Taylor. In her heyday, she was amazing.

I did other stuff before then, but I was sexually active at 20. I'm glad I waited for the right person, because you look back and you go, 'That girl was bats– crazy. I'm glad I didn't go there.'

One thing he misses about New Jersey: One thing they don't have out here in California is Rita's Italian Ices. We used to have one right next to our house and it was so good!

It's impossible to measure the type of mental strength and determination that's required to be an elite wrestler.

It's like going into a nuclear war with bows and arrows.

The promise of education reform can never be fulfilled without adequate funding, and by shortchanging our schools, President Bush is breaking his promise to our children.

Magellan went around the world in 1521, which is not too many strokes when you consider the distance.

The logic of a madman is a sane man's confusion.

It is never a good sign when the most exciting thing on television is a dancing Republican.

I am genuinely an Independent. I agree more often than not with Democrats on domestic policy. I agree more often than not with Republicans on foreign and defense policy. I'm an Independent.

The danger of terrorists and rogue states is compounded by the proliferation of chemical, biological, radiological, and nuclear weapons.

There are extensive contacts between Saddam Hussein's government and al Qaeda.

I'm glad that I never ended up killing myself, though I came close more times than I would like to admit.

I've come to realize that you live on through recordings; they're like a musical diary, a window into somebody's soul.

My chosen instrument is guitar and, fortunately, I'm able to muddle through that. I can play guitar to the point where I can express myself artistically.

You think it's all written, but it's not. There's always another way to twist those three chords around.

Americans appreciate the way our friends around the world are sticking by us, and we all hope for their continued support in what's going to be some very trying times.