John Swartzwelder Quotes

I try to maintain a positive attitude at all times, because clients notice little things like that, and if you're frowning and crying all the time and saying "why? why?", they get worried.

They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?

If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it.

As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.

I'm 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.