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Joseph Heller Quotes

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Joseph Heller Quotes: "I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me."

I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any."

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.




Joseph Heller Quotes: "There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."

There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?"

Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?




Joseph Heller Quotes: "Well, he died. You don't get any older than that."

Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman."

I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "He was never without misery, and never without hope."

He was never without misery, and never without hope.




Joseph Heller Quotes: "He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret"

He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat."

Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective."

When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it."

You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Why are they going to disappear him?' I don't know.' It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar."

Why are they going to disappear him?' I don't know.' It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.




Joseph Heller Quotes: "Men," he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it."

Men," he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "There are yawning gulfs into which large chunks of me have fallen. I do not always know where I am at present."

There are yawning gulfs into which large chunks of me have fallen. I do not always know where I am at present.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "If a man is going to leave one wife to marry another, it's better if he divorces the first before he marries the second."

If a man is going to leave one wife to marry another, it's better if he divorces the first before he marries the second.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "[Chief White Halfoat:] Racial prejudice is a terrible thing, Yossarian. It really is. It's a terrible thing to treat a decent, loyal Indian like a nig*er, kike, wop, or spic."

[Chief White Halfoat:] Racial prejudice is a terrible thing, Yossarian. It really is. It's a terrible thing to treat a decent, loyal Indian like a nig*er, kike, wop, or spic.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "General Peckem even recommends that we send our men into combat in full-dress uniform so they'll make a good impression on the enemy when they're shot down"."

General Peckem even recommends that we send our men into combat in full-dress uniform so they'll make a good impression on the enemy when they're shot down".



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Why are they going to disappear him?'I don't know.'It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar."

Why are they going to disappear him?'I don't know.'It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on."

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!"

-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents."

Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt..."

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt...



Joseph Heller Quotes: "But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong."

But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "The spirit gone, man is garbage."

The spirit gone, man is garbage.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "I don't want to make sacrifices. I want to make dough."

I don't want to make sacrifices. I want to make dough.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!!" Yossarian sputtered.~ Catch-22"

That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!!" Yossarian sputtered.~ Catch-22



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Depreciating motels, junked automobiles, and quick-food joints grow like amber waves of grain."

Depreciating motels, junked automobiles, and quick-food joints grow like amber waves of grain.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Oh well, " McWatt sang, "what the hell."

Oh well, " McWatt sang, "what the hell.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "It doesn't matter whether they mean it or not. That's why they make little kids pledge allegiance even before they know what 'pledge' and 'allegiance' mean."

It doesn't matter whether they mean it or not. That's why they make little kids pledge allegiance even before they know what 'pledge' and 'allegiance' mean.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "...You know, one good apple can spoil the rest, ” Colonel Korn concluded with conscious irony."

...You know, one good apple can spoil the rest, ” Colonel Korn concluded with conscious irony.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "He woke up blinking with a slight pain in his head and opened his eyes upon a world boiling in chaos in which everything was in proper order."

He woke up blinking with a slight pain in his head and opened his eyes upon a world boiling in chaos in which everything was in proper order.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?" "I do, " Dunbar told him. "Why?" Clevinger asked. "What else is there?"

Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?" "I do, " Dunbar told him. "Why?" Clevinger asked. "What else is there?



Joseph Heller Quotes: "Frankly I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry."

Frankly I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.



Joseph Heller Quotes: "There was only one catch and that was Catch-22 which specified the concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind."

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22 which specified the concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind.