Josh Billings Quotes

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

Wisdom deprives even poverty of half its power.

Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream.

True wisdom is plenty of experience, observation, and reflection. False wisdom is plenty of ignorance, arrogance, and impudence.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor.

Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the time when I used to.

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with.

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road.

Man is my brother, and I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am through his virtue.

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

Politeness is better than logic. You can often persuade when you cannot convince.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

Experience is a grindstone; and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.

Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.

Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.

It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can't dodge a fly.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise.

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

The dog that will follow everbody ain't worth a curse.