Josh Billings Quotes

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Fools carry their daggers in their open mouths.

The dog that will follow everbody ain't worth a curse.

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise.

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

Occasions are rare; and those, who know how to seize upon them, are rarer.

Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

Common sense is an instinct given to man and enough of it is genius. Smartness is measured by the level of common sense one has, not by how much educated or knowledgeable he is.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is

Jealousy is one of love's parasites.

When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.

We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.

Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.

If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn.

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

Perseverance is king.

Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.

Peace is the soft and holy shadow that virtue casts.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

Nature makes all the noblemen; wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.

A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.

I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

Waves are inspiring not because they rise and fail, but because each time they fall. They never fail to rise again.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Wisdom that don't make us happier ain't worth plowing for.

As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to us hidden gems, which prosperity or negligence would forever have hidden.

The great art of writing is knowing when to stop.

Most men had rather say a smart thing than do a good one. John P. Kotter, Leading Change.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

Opinions should be formed with great caution, and changed with greater.

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.

There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel.

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.