Judith Martin Quotes

Appearing to pay attention when someone is speaking is one of the cornerstones of real social interaction.

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

The more skillful the performance of false cheer, the more pleasing the effect is upon one's public and on that private audience to whom one owes even more.

You think death is any better an excuse for desertion than any other?

Meanwhile, the empty forms of social behavior survive inappropriately in business situations. We all know that when a business sends its customers 'friendly reminders,' it really means business.

When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.

Question- Should I loan a small amount of money to a friend? Answer- If you are sure that you can, if necessary, spare both.

Nowadays people consider it a disgrace to admit that they are not stressed.

Nowadays, you form your beliefs to fit your behavior, not the other way around.

Washington knows that it is not safe to kick people who are down until you find out what their next stop will be.

When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art.

Miss Manners herself, while never rude, is given to pulling a fast pinch in the way of a handshake on those who believe in kissing on, not even the first date, but the first sighting.

People will say, 'Seventy isn't old, it's middle-aged,' and I think, middle of what - 140?

A lot of men got upset at the feminist movement because they had all the toys and we wanted some.

Charming villains have always had a decided social advantage over well-meaning people who chew with their mouths open.

Knowing that others have gone through similar tragedies may be a help, but it should be remembered that every tragedy is not only commonplace but also unique.

Being listened to should be sufficiently gratifying in itself, whether or not the advice is followed.

A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying, "Do we have to ask them?" to people whose first response is, "How much do you think we have to spend on them?

The way one was brought up isn't an excuse for rude behavior.

Generosity and gratitude are inseparably linked.

Smart people duck when they hear the dread announcement 'I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.

There is no etiquette rule that decrees one must give out personal information to anyone who asks.

People who put slipcovers, doilies, plastic protectors, and cellophane on everything good that they own rarely live to see an occasion so good that all these covers are removed.

Everybody's an art critic.

People think, mistakenly, that etiquette means you have to suppress your differences. On the contray, etiquette is what enables you to deal with them; it gives you a set of rules.

Yes, etiquette is hypocritical. Yes, it does inhibit children - if you're lucky. But the idea that it's elitist and irrelevant is like saying language is elitist and irrelevant.

We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them.

[after the death of a loved one] It is when there is nothing more to be done that the reality of the loss often hits with full force.

Whamming someone smaller than oneself in order to teach that person civilized behavior is not within Miss Manners' concept of propriety, much less logic.

What is Thanksgiving without a nutty relative?

It is said that dispensing advice is easy. What is difficult is getting anyone to listen to it.

For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one.

Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes.

The most conventional statements are both true and welcome.

Sometimes we do things a certain way just because that is the way we do things.

Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough.

Try not to annoy your relatives unnecessarily.

Why bring children into a world where no one writes letters?

There are always proper responses, even to rude questions.

What we have come to, through a combination of popular psychology and expanding technology, is a presumption that all our thoughts and feelings are worth uttering.

the obligation to express gratitude deepens with procrastination. The longer you wait, the more effusive must be the thanks.

We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.

Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette.

The simple idea that everyone needs a reasonable amount of challenging work in his or her life and also a personal life complete with noncompetitive leisure has never really taken hold.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

When you're in love you put up with things that when you're out of love you cite.

A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying "Do we have to ask them?" to people whose first response is "How much do you think we have to spend on them?"