K. Mitch Quotes

Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.

When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

Keep listening to music, it gets you through everything. I promise.

Everything's filthy. But you know what? One day it's not gonna be here. So just be glad you know what life is. You're alive. Live.

You only live once, for a very short time. So make every second divine.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

You only live once, life is really short.. don't let anything minuscule like that keep you down. Keep your head up.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Accept who you are; and revel in it.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

I saw a seagull hanging out by a lake, but I said, "Don't worry, Dude. I won't say anything."

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.

This is part of what a family is about, not just love. It's knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame. Not work.

I'd rather die riding 95 than live a life full of nothing but filthy lies.

We all yearn for what we have lost. But sometimes, we forget what we have.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.

My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

All Citizens United did was to level the playing field for corporate speech. We now have, I think, the most free and open system we've had in modern times.

The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps

Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

Don't cling to things because everything is impermanent.

I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.

A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.

I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.

This shirt is "dry-clean only"... Which means it's dirty.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

You have to start over. That's what they say. But life is not a board game, and losing a loved one is never really "starting over." More like "continuing without.

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.

Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!