K. Mitch Quotes

We believe it wrong ever to take a dollar from a free citizen without a very necessary public purpose, because each such taking diminishes the freedom to spend that dollar as its owner would prefer.

We believe that government works for the benefit of private life, and not the other way around.

Our fiscal ruin and resulting loss of world leadership will, in their [liberals'] eyes, be not a tragic event but a desirable one.

My record is, far as I know, unimpeachable.

If we don't believe in Americans, who will? I do believe. I've seen it in the people of our very typical corner of the nation.

Starting a new retirement plan for those below a certain age is something tens of millions of Americans have already been through at work.

We do not accept that ours will ever be a nation of haves and have-nots. We must always be a nation of haves and soon-to-haves.

As Republicans, our first concern is for those waiting tonight to begin or resume the climb up life's ladder.

A one-time tax does not get figured into people's investment decisions.

I believe that the Right to Work issue is a perfectly appropriate one for Indiana to look at.

No enterprise, small or large, public or private, can remain self-governing, let alone successful, so deeply in hock to others as we are about to be.

We don't have a prayer of defeating the Red Threat of our generation without a long boom of almost unprecedented duration.

There is nothing inconsistent about having a conservative outlook and being vigorous.

Anything that strengthens the private sector vs. the state is protective of personal freedom.

As a competitor, you have to learn pretty quickly how to deal with pressure.

Discipline is the quality that carries over from gymnastics to acting.

Adrenaline is an amazing thing.

I love writing for and about women. In my whole career I have.

In writing for movies, you obviously want to resolve things and have a sense of completion at the end - in an ideal way.

As a kid, I used to be equal parts drawn to and horrified of the circus. They would have these beautiful canvas posters for Lobster Boy, bearded women, and this and that.

One of the first things we did was to find role models or mentors at companies that had achieved what we wanted to do. We bribed them or annoyed them for long enough until they decided to mentor us.

You've got to tell a story, paint a vision, know your metrics and sell, sell, sell.

Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.

Every picture of you is when you were younger.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

A fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it does half the time.

This one commercial said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did, and it was a load off of my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were!

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all.

I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it, so I would get a baby-naming book. Or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters.

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end.

If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"

I don't like grouper fish. Well, they're okay. They hang around star fish. Because they're grouper fish.

I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.

I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I have to communicate with my dad using numbers.

Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?

I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!"

I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

I met the girl who works at the Doubletree front desk, she gave me her number. It's ZERO. I tried to call from here, some other woman answered. "You sound older!"

I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I had no idea which joke I was telling. So I told jokes twice. I even told that one twice.

I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing.

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

I didn't go to college, but if I did, I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant, 'cause 'The customer is always right'.

I don't want to have my face on the cover of a Wheaties box. I wanna have my face on the cover of a Rice Krispies box. "Snap, Krackle, Mitch and Pop"!

I travel with a boom box. When I get on a plane, I stuff the power cord for the boom box into the battery compartment. From an outsider's point of view, it looks like I've got it all wrong.

People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you’re really on.

I’d like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It’d be so damn literal! You are using that machine to it’s exact purpose!

Then let's print up some flyers!

I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction.