K. Mitch Quotes

I hate dreaming because when you want to sleep, you want to sleep. Dreaming is work. Next thing you know, I have to build a go-cart with my ex-landlord.

I can read minds, but I'm illiterate.

Sharing tales of those we've lost is how we keep from really losing them.

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

I seem to have very few casual readers, only passionate and appreciative ones.

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

I want to ride in a cold air balloon. "This isn't going anywhere!"

The universe is too grand and harmonious to believe it's all an accident.

We have a debt the size of our economy, which makes us look a lot like Greece.

The White House has a choice: They can change course, or they can double down on a vision of government that the American people have roundly rejected.

No feature of the Obama presidency has been sadder than its constant efforts to divide us, to curry favor with some Americans by castigating others.

You can't get stuck on what should have happened. That doesn't help you.

I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!"

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out.

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

Comedy clubs have brick walls behind the performer. Bricks make you funny. When I'm in front of a fireplace, I'm hilarious.

I thought about the days i had handed over to a bottle..the nights i can't remember..the mornings i slept thru..all the time spent running from myself.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family.

Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that.

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around.

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

I think spiritualism, mesmerism, the mental healing movement, provided some people with the most meaningful experiences of their lives.

The worst experience any majority can have is that you convene and you look around and nothing's ready to go.

We all know that Social Security is one of this country's greatest success stories in the 20th century.

Obama hasn't been working to earn reelection, he's been working to earn a spot on the PGA tour!

I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.

Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

So many bands write about the same s - . It gets real boring after a while.

Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he a magician?" "No." "Then let's print up some flyers!"

Tony the Tiger usually thinks that stuff is great.

You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

What's wrong with being number 2?

Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!

Remember, the only difference between 'marital' and 'martial' is where you put the 'i'.

...You can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!"

I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"

This time, we went up to Big Bear for 3-4 weeks and sequestered ourselves writing this album [ "The Black Crown"].

Jon Davis of Korn and Frank Mullen of Suffocation are one of my favorite bands and from that moment, we started a conversation and lead to the song.

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

I think what you notice most when you haven’t been home in a while is how much the trees have grown around your memories.

Look at the limes in this drink, how they float. That's good news. Next time I'm on a boat, and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I'm saved by the buoyancy of citrus.

If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid.