K. Mitch Quotes

I would not want to be a mobile home repo man. Those would be hard to sneak away - "Knock knock - Hi, would you go cut your grass and look that way for a half an hour?"

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwiches? All-encompassingly.

I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers... NOPE... we got spaghetti!

My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk.

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?

I went to the Home Depot, which was unnecessary. I need to go to the Apartment Depot. Which is just a big warehouse with a whole lot of people standing around saying "We don't have to fix anything."

I cannot tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved.

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.

Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and around. I can't do a back flip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys.

I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once... so I can make a cart.

I got an ant farm; them fellas didn't grow sh*t.

It's not going to happen if you wait for the boss to tell you to make it happen.

Once you can understand where the conversation is, who leads, the type of voices and the best place for you to add your voice, you can then start becoming a more active participant.

We're certainly gonna keep our commitment to the American people to make every effort we can to repeal [Obamacare].

Public disclosure of campaign contributions and spending should be expedited so voters can judge for themselves what is appropriate.

I think it is to the advantage of my state to have the opportunity to come to meetings occasionally and to vote in person, rather than just by proxy.

While other state governments stiff their vendors, close parks, delay tax refunds, and ignore unacceptably poor service levels, Indiana state employees are setting national standards for efficiency.

The new troops in Iraq need to be Iraqi troops.

The debt they ran up in the first year of the Obama administration is bigger than the last four years of the Bush combined.

Keep it simple, keep it sexy, keep it sad.

Going back to something is harder than you think.

Sometimes, kids want you to hurt the way they hurt.

When we are most alone is when we embrace another's loneliness.

Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.

This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.

A book with the genuine power to stir and comfort its readers.

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

You knew me. You knew that person, but you don't know the person I'm trying to become... You are not your past!

One day can bend your life.

No story sits by itself, Sometimes stories meet at corners and sometimes they cover one another completely, like stones beneath a river.

A man who can take anything will find most things unsatisfying. And a man without memories is just a shell.

Fairness, does not govern life and death. If it did, no good person would ever die young. ~ The blue man

Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it.

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped.

Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you.

I had a very high-grade publisher tell me I was incapable of writing a memoir.

This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. To have it explained. It is the peace you have been searching for.

Sometimes, when you are not getting the love you want, giving makes you think you will.

I give myself a good cry if I need it, but then I concentrate on all good things still in my life.

You can know the whole world and still feel lost in it.

Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness.

...the human spirit knows, deep down that all lives intersect.

Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away.

Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do.

once we began to chime the hour, we lost the ability to be satisfied

You were one person, and you changed the world.

Please, please, please, please, please...,", squeezing his eyes shut because it somehow made the words more pure.

I think we hear a lot of talk about college, and we don't hear about early education.

The backside of a mountain is a fight against human nature. You have to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up.