Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries Of Karl Pilkington Quotes

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.

I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.