Kevin Hearne Quotes
Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.
They never predict anything fun," Granuaile answered. "Just once I'd like to hear a prophet tell someone, 'Thou shalt win a bitchin' Camaro on a game show.
He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.
People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.
She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion.
I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital
Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.
When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.
Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?" Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.
Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.
Atticus "What's this religion going to be called?" Oberon "Poochism" A:"and the name of this holy writ I will be typing for you?" O:"The dead flea scrolls: A Sirius Prophecy.
She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.
I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes.
The tendency of modern American women to exclaim 'Hiiiiiiiiiiii!' in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it.
Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet!" Oberon
You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?
I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.
He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.
If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands.
Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me.
Tell her I am Peace Dawg but I think her cats are closely allied with The Man. I'm going to stick it to them.
Druid log July 15: Dark elves are not only quick and efficient killers, but creative and pyrotechnically inclined ones.
Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.
Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but a really good friend will help ye move a body.
As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time.
But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.
The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.
Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.
I had my own dump truck of bad karma waiting for me somewhere ahwad. I had certainly earned it, but I raced to avoid it if I could; there was no way I wanted to fell that.
They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.
