Larry David Quotes

I'm anti-cheese in a salad.

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.

Let's not forget, I got divorced.

Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.

I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.

I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.

I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.

I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.

I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.

A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.

I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.

I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.

I'd like to start a family but you have to have a date first.