Lemony Snicket Quotes

Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.

everything happens for a reason.

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see.

Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.

the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.

He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked.

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.

The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.

I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.

The world is quiet here.

Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.

They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.

A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.

To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn't work, there is nothing left.

It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.

The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

People don't always get what they deserve in this world.

There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.

I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.

There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.

Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware.

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different.

Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.

What do your parents know, about surviving?

We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.

Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?

it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed.

This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.

Everyone tells you it's all right to cry, but not enough people say it's all right if you don't want people to know.

You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does

With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.

Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.

A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and you never know until you try it out.