Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops.

I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!

A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there.

I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight.

The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual, ' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me.