Margaret Smith Quotes

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's a train.

Sin recognized but that may keep us humble, But oh, it keeps us nasty.

My femininity is always something I've tried to preserve in this dog-eat-dog world.

I went out to dinner with a Marine last weekend. He looked across the table and he goes, "I could kill you in seven seconds." I go, "I'll just have toast, then."

I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in.

The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently.

I hate people. People make me pro-nuclear.

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said "No."

My mom's Jewish and my dad's Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.

They say tall people live a lot longer than short people. No they don't. They're just so irritating it seems they are around a lot longer.