Mark Twain, Собрание сочинений в восьми томах Quotes

I do not like work even when someone else is doing it.

There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.

The average man don't like trouble and danger.

I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That's bad enough for me.

All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.

Man never creates, he only recombines the lines and colors of his own existance.

I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.

S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think?

Ah, if he could only die temporarily!

Switzerland would me a mighty big place if it were ironed flat.

On with dance, let joy be unconfined, is my motto; whether there's any dance to dance or any joy to unconfined.

Whatever a man's age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his button-hole.

I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is very wearing to be good.

When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.

'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me.

Irrevence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your disrespect to his god is.

I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and their children; the other, expurgated, for persons of refinement

I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.

Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.

I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.

Every man is wholly honest to himself and to God, but not to any one else.

No man is straitly honest to any but himself and God.

Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

God's noblest work. Man who found it out? Man.

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible

It is a dear and lovely disposition, and a most valuable one, that can brush away indignities and discourtesies and seek and find the pleasanter features of an experience.

Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.

...ignorant as the unborne babe! ignorant as unborn twins!

We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.

...one should be gentle with the ignorant, for they are the chosen of God.

A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.

All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.

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No man has an appreciation so various that his judgment is good upon all varieties of literary work.

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.

We may not doubt that society in heaven consists mainly of undesirable persons.

I am not an American. I am the American.

Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted.

I'm merely running some errands. This is now off the record.

One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.

The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously.

Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.

If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

Dance like nobody's looking.

One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.

If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first.

You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.