Mark Twain, Собрание сочинений в восьми томах Quotes
I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.