Mason Cooley Quotes

Pain narrows consciousness; pleasure blurs it.

When Medusa looks in the mirror, she sees the Lady of Sorrows.

My passions have never jumped out of the fireplace and set fire to the carpet.

Retirement requires the invention of a new hedonism, not a return to the hedonism of youth

The sewing machine joins what the scissors have cut asunder, plus whatever else comes in its path.

Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.

The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree.

'Be faithful to your roots' is the liberal version of 'Stay in your ghetto.'

Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: getting out of bed.

Totem poles and wooden masks no longer suggest tribal villages but fashionable drawing rooms in New York and Paris.

Writing an upbeat aphorism is a temptation, but decorum forbids.

City people make most of the fuss about the charms of country life.

Logic teaches rules for presentation, not thinking.

Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.

Self-inflicted misery smirks under its crown of thorns.

You know you're in love when you stop comparing.

Travelers never think that they are the foreigners.

Magic lives in curves, not angles.

Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it.

Narcissus weeps to find that his Image does not return his love.

As every cockroach knows, thriving on poisons is the secret of success.

Faith moves mountains, but you have to keep pushing while you are praying.

A goldfish is reason enough for living, if someone needs a reason.

If modesty disappeared, so would exhibitionism.

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas.

Observe decorum, and it will open a path to morality.

Promiscuity is like never reading past the first page. Monogamy is like reading the same book over and over.

Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.

To appear well dressed, be skinny and tall.

Melancholy is as seductive as Ecstasy.

A sense of blessedness comes from a change of heart, not from more blessings.

Complainers change their complaints, but they never reduce the amount of time spent in complaining.

Sulking is silent because speaking would reveal its folly.

Why not - is a slogan for an interesting life.

Wisdom is founded on memory; happiness on forgetfulness.

Forget what hurt you but never forget what it thaught you.

Regret for wasted time is more wasted time

Psychology keeps trying to vindicate human nature. History keeps undermining the effort.

Masturbation is a democratic pleasure, practiced by rich and poor, young and old, married and single.

Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it.

A blocked path also offers guidance.

The critical spirit never knows when to stop meddling.

Lack of reciprocity ruins friendships, but makes love affairs exciting for a time.

Telescopes and binoculars endanger the ever-distant sublime.

The philosophy of hedonism means little to lovers of pleasure. They have no inclination to read philosophy, or to write it.

Even the most fickle are faithful to a few bad habits.

The passion for money is never fickle.

I love you is the inscription on Pandora's box.

Critic's delight: scolding the Mighty Dead.

A great reader seldom recognizes his solitude.