Matt Groening Quotes

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.

Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.'

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!" (Homer Simpson)

If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans.

Everybody is clever, just in their own ways

I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?

Don't have a cow, man.

We've been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again.

I've loved science fiction ever since I was a little kid, mainly from looking at the covers of science-fiction magazines and books, and I've read quite extensively as an adult.

I also found child's play - stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy - was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult.

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.

Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.

'The Simpsons' is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but who drive you completely crazy.

I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?

For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.

With animation because you can draw anything and do anything and have the characters do whatever you want the tendency is to be very loose with the boundaries and the rules.

'The Simpsons' is an especially collaborative show.

The writers led by Mike Scully are fantastic. And they're creating original stories that not only don't repeat what we've already done, they also don't repeat anything I've seen on television.

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon." Lisa Simpson

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism!

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

I promise I'll do anything for you, especialy if it's easy. Homer Simpson

I'm a writer who just happens to draw.

I want it to go on, but I want us to go out on top.

A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things.

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?"

I think in daily newspapers, the way comic strips are treated, it's as if newspaper publishers are going out of their way to kill the medium.

I always say that 'Futurama' is real, and 'The Simpsons' is fiction.

Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.

Most TV shows don't reward you for paying attention.

Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.

I have less to do with 'The Simpsons' every season, but I stick my nose in here and there. Basically, it's just trying to keep the characters consistent and making sure the show has a soul.

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns

Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.

People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.

When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries.

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I will do it again.