Matt Haig, The Humans Quotes

Make sure, as often as possible, you are doing something you’d be happy to die doing.

Flowers, after love, must have been the best advert planet Earth had going for it.

There is only one genre in fiction, the genre is called book.

The first rule of marriage: solve the mystery, end the love.

And yet, I was scared of falling asleep, because the moment I fell asleep my wounds would heal and right then I didn’t want that to happen. Right then, I found a strange but real comfort in the pain.

No one will understand you. It is not, ultimately, that important. What is important is that you understand you.

So love is about finding the right person to hurt you?”“Pretty much.

The best way to think of the ageing process in relation to a human face is to imagine a map of an area of innocent land which slowly becomes a city with many long and winding routes.

The next day I had a hangover.I realised that if getting drunk was how people forgot they were mortal, then hangovers were how they remembered.

Humans, in the day that has been the Earth, have been here for less than a minute. We’re a late-night piss in the toilet, that’s all we are.

Laughter, I realized, was the reverberating sound of a truth hitting a lie.

It was, of course, another test. Everything in human life was a test. That was why they all looked so stressed out.