Maureen Dowd Quotes

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

[On journalists:] We are a noisy, imperfect lot, struggling to scribble what has been called the first draft of history.

Journalism, spooked by rumors of its own obsolescence, has stopped believing in itself. Groans of doom alternate with panicked happy talk.

The sounds of silence are a dim recollection now, like mystery, privacy and paying attention to one thing — or one person — at a time.

Wooing the press is an exercise roughly akin to picnicking with a tiger. You might enjoy the meal, but the tiger always eats last.

Celebrity distorts democracy by giving the rich, beautiful, and famous more authority than they deserve.

When I need to work up my nerve to write a tough column, I try to think of myself as Emma Peel in a black leather catsuit.

A friendship between reporter and source lasts only until it is profitable for one to betray the other.

If you're famous enough, the rules don't apply.

Celebrity is the religion of our time.

The idea of American exceptionalism doesn't extend to Americans being exceptional.

Don't write anything down, but save everything that anyone else writes down.

Even when conservatives have all the marbles, they still act as if they're under siege. Now that they are under siege, it is no time for them to act as if they're losing their marbles.

Perpetual optimism is annoying. It is a sign that you are not paying attention.

And as far as doing God's work, I think the bankers who took government money and then gave out obscene bonuses are the same self-interested sorts Jesus threw out of the temple.

Afghanistan is more than the 'graveyard of empires.' It's the mother of vicious circles.

As a woman, I know that if I write about another woman, it will be perceived as a catfight.

It takes a lot of adrenaline and fear to make me actually write.

It is men's worst fear, personally and professionally, that women will pin the sin on them.

Americans want to be protected, but not at the cost of vitiating the values that make us Americans.

The insane have achieved political respectability while the sane act too good for it all. The irrational celebrate while the rational act bored and above-it-all.

Are women necessary? Not with Ava around

If wit is the most sophisticated form of humor, pranks are the most juvenile.

Zingers should glow with intelligence as well as drip with contempt.

Just because digital technology makes connecting possible doesn't mean you're actually reaching people.

Women are affected by lunar tides only once a month; men have raging hormones every day.

Reagan didn't socialize with the press. He spent his evenings with Nancy, watching TV with dinner trays. But he knew that to transcend, you can't condescend.

Military guys are rarely as smart as they think they are, and they've never gotten over the fact that civilians run the military.

My eating habits were so bad for many years that I didn't actually know the intricacies of making a salad.

Tweetin' ain't cheatin'.

For two centuries, the South has feared a takeover by blacks or the feds. In Obama, they have both.

Washington is a place where people have always been suspect of style and overt sexuality. Too much preening signals that you're not up late studying cap-and-trade agreements.

Personally, I've decided to stop evolving.

I think Hillary Clinton's a very clever politician but she would be too easy to stereotype the way John Kerry was.

I don't understand men. I don't even understand what I don't understand about men.

I find having a column a very difficult form of journalism. I'm not a natural like Tom Friedman and Anna Quindlen.

F.D.R. achieved greatness not by means of imposing his temperament and intellect on the world but by reacting to what the world threw at him.

I think the evangelicals think they're in a holy war now.

Good and evil are not like the Redskins and the Cowboys.

Women have become so obsessed with not withering, they've forgotten that there are infinite ways to be beautiful.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve you get even less than you settled for.