Mel Brooks Quotes

You want to be as smart as you can about being stupid.

An egg cream can do anything. An egg cream to a Brooklyn Jew is like water to an Arab. A Jew will kill for an egg cream. It's the Jewish malmsey.

It's good to be the king.

Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius.

The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character.

When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I've always felt okay in Berlin.

I was born on the kitchen table. We were so poor my mother couldn't afford to have me; the lady next door gave birth to me.

Why should I waste my good time making a straight dramatic film? The people who can't make you laugh can do that.

Usually when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

We rest our case on the production numbers.

I always thought it was great to be able to make people feel better. It was a little like being God.

All right, I am often brash, rude and brutally direct. Someday I'm going to die and I don't have time to toe-dance around the periphery of hatred.

I don't think in terms of results at all. I think: what next insanity can I shock the world with?

With the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth... the critic

My God, I'd love to smash into the casket of Dostoyevsky, grab that bony hand and scream at the remains, 'Well done, you god-damn genius.'

My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible.

Look, I had to take chances or it wasn't fun being funny.

I'm married to a beautiful and talented woman who can lift your spirits just by looking at you.

We mock the things we are to be.

Sir, I have seen your film and it is vulgar! Madame, my film rises below vulgarity.

Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers.

My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. The job is to make people laugh. I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn.

Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director.

Nothing is free. You got to pay to be in society. First you start with homework.

Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin.

I wanted to entertain so badly that I kept at it until I was good. I just browbeat my way into show business.

Some critics are emotionally desiccated, personally about as attractive as a year-old peach in a single girl's refrigerator.

In every spoof I make real love to the things I am spoofing.

I'll accept bad taste in a minute, as long as there's some great comedy minds and performances.

Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy.

Being brave is being scared and worried and still doing it [what you do]. Because if you're just a wacko, a mashugana, a crazy guy, then you're not brave, your nuts!

Writing is simply one thought after another dying upon the one before.

All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security.

I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front.

It would be hypocritical of me to take issue with anything in questionable taste, seeing that I invented bad taste in films.

The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.

I was out in the combat engineers. We would throw up bridges in advance of the infantry but mainly we would just throw up.

The egg cream is psychologically the opposite of circumcision--it pleasurably reaffirms your Jewishness.

Ill just say whats in my heart: Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump.

Making a movie is like making an ocean voyage, and the script is your ship.

We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.

I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.

But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality.

That's it baby, if you've got it, flaunt it.

Creative people should always be striving, they should always be hungry, they should be looking for the next place to go.

Any man's greatness is a tribute to the nobility of all mankind, so when we celebrate the genius of [Leo] Tolstoy, we say, "Look! One of our boys made it! Look what we're capable of!"

I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous.

I also try to surround myself with people I love - make a family out of the company. So I tend to use the same people over and over. There's a sort of Mel Brooks Repertory Company.

I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter.

As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me.