Mike Harding Quotes

If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls asleep or point out any mountains looming up ahead.

America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until people got tired of living in a place called "Vespuccia" and changed its name to "America"

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.

The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service.

When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a nose bleed, which usually cures them of that.