N. T. Wright Quotes

Day One: Still tired from the move.

I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.

I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.

I thought I would be a guy on the radio.

To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.

Because I don't believe everything I read.

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?

One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.

Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.

Is 'tired old cliché' one?

I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>

Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.

I'm not some kind of machine that paints pictures.

One of my principal concerns is the contradiction between appearance and reality - illusion and reality. I try to set up an expectation of sorts and then contradict it.

One of the big failings of art schools is that students aren't given any teaching on how to survive as a one-person business, which is what it is.

A contemporary painting is worth what someone is prepared to pay for it and not a predetermined figure.

We trust people we can count on. We count on people who do what they say they will do when they say they will do it.

Love trumps everything. Love's decision will not always be kind to your artistic life.

No game designer ever went wrong by overestimating the narcissism of their players.

Because now it's the fans out there that are entertaining us, the developers, with their creations!

Everybody has a different definition of the good side.

And every now and then people find the bugs, and they interpret those as cool failures in the Sims terms. For them it's like a treasure hunt, you know.

Television is a very different thing from video games. It's kind of hard for me to compare.

Well, I think the camera freedom is something that we've resisted for a long time and feels like probably the biggest stretch. But it has some huge benefits.

We have spent quite a bit of time considering a good space game, and I can't really say anything at this point, but we are definitely still interested in that area.

I'm not saying we purposely introduced bugs or anything, but this is kind of a natural result of any complexities of software... that you can't fully test it.

I'm writing a book. I'm almost finished. I numbered the pages. Now all I have to do is fill them in.

An idea is salvation by imagination

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I spilled spot remover on my dog now he's gone.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me arefurious!

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier theywouldn't have to go so fast.

Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.

Nature is my manifestation of God. I go to nature every day for inspiration in the day's work.