Natasha Leggero Quotes

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.

Lovin this Ghost Ghirls! It was great to get to play a madame not just a boring prostitute.

It's a human instinct to be known.

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

The idea that you're supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can't.

The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose.

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.

Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.

In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it.

I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.

In general, comedians are attracted to vice.

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

Doing TV is great, but TV is for starring on, not for watching.

I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians.

I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress - big difference.

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.