Nick Offerman Quotes

I'm enjoying the opportunity that Parks And Recreation affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands.

I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball.

I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.

If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.

If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.

Follow your gut, make a choice, and throw yourself into it. If you make a mistake, then you have merely afforded yourself a valuable lesson.

If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza.

If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?

Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.

Technically, we're all half centaur.

I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.

And what we've lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do.

I never went too long without a job. The problem was a lot of the early jobs are almost more demoralizing than unemployment.

I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.

If you always have something in your life that you're trying to improve upon, then every day you have a reason to get out of bed, and you have a reason to achieve something and feel good.

Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.

Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.

I am a saxophone player.

I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window.

Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity.

How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out of wood.

Of course smartphones are brilliant inventions, but the nefarious thing about Twitter and other social media is that it starts to fill all the gaps in your day. I quickly become an addict.

I come from the theater, where I got into acting because I love transforming. I love nothing more than to be unrecognizable.

I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.

It's taken me a lot of years to peel away my own layers.

Just stand up for your principals and be loyal to your friends and family.

If you don't look at yourself and evaluate it, you instead see how the world's reacting to it.

I don't get nominated, and I have to say, I've probably gotten the greatest mass of press in my life through not getting nominated. It's definitely been a winning situation as far as I'm concerned.

When I got to Los Angeles, I started building cabins in peoples’ yards, building post-and-beam structures and cutting the joinery for those.

I'm a very intermediate sax player, but now that Rob Lowe is on my show, I had to cop to him. Like, 'Dude your ridiculous fake sax playing [in St. Elmo's Fire] inspired me to pick up a horn.'

If I put down my tweeter machine for a minute, I actually can communicate with people. As an aside, astonishingly, I just started doing Twitter.

If I had to pick one form of acting, it would be live theater. That's where I started; that's where I became a man, I think I'm still finishing up that job.

I think what makes so many other actors miserable is focusing completely on making other plans. They're obsessed with their haircut and their headshot and their agent, their IMDB profile or whatever.

Branding is quite an important thing. As an artist, you want to be able to explore facets of yourself.

Only when you get into TV and film, do people really want you to be a 'specialist'.

You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.

I don't put a great deal of stock in art trophies.

There's a lot of common sense ... which I feel like we have lost touch with.

I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed technology.

The fact that I have a job that people even watch is an incredible gift.

I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.

Let's just say I can never be cast again after Ron Swanson. Then I have a life of theater and woodworking and my wife to look forward to, and that doesn't make me anything but very happy.

I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one.

I've had to learn and discipline myself that I'm much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It's just that simple.

If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day.

I was drinking a lot of bourbon. I was miserable. I was starting to get work, but it wasn't remotely satisfying. It was garbage compared to the theater I was doing.

I'm opposed to a lot of the time that we as a civilization have come to spend looking at screens. For my money, life is much delicious damn near everyplace but inside that screen.

My career is inexplicable to me. So far I've just been not getting fired despite being myself.

Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy.