Noel Coward Quotes

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

I will accept anything in the theatre . . . provided it amuses or moves me. But if it does neither, I want to go home.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.

How was your flight? Well, aeronautically it was a great success. Socially, it left quite a bit to be desired.

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

Christmas is at our throats again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?

Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?

Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you can

Thousands of people have talent. I might as well congratulate you for having eyes in your head. The one and only thing that counts is: Do you have staying power?

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.

The higher the building the lower the morals.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.

Passion in a dromedary doesn't go so deep; a camel when it's mating never sobs itself to sleep.

Wit is like caviar - it should be served in small portions and not spread about like marmalade.

The air is like a draught of wine. The undertaker cleans his sign, The Hull express goes off the line, When it's raspberry time in Runcorn.

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.

How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance.

Sunburn is very becoming - but only when it is even - one must be careful not to look like a mixed grill.

I never cared who scored the goal, or which side won the silver cup. I never learned to bat or bowl; but I heard the curtain going up.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but my own.

It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him.

Everybody was up to something, especially, of course, those who were up to nothing.

Wouldn't it be dreadful to live in a country where they didn't have tea?

At twelve noon, The natives swoon And no further work is doneBut mad dogs and Englishmen, Go out in the midday sun.

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

Acting is not a state of being ... but a state of appearing to be.

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.

Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.