Ogden Nash Quotes
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.
The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.
There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.
I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor.
There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.
No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.
If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.
The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.
Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon.
Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.
The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'
There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.
The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.
And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.
