Oscar Levant Quotes

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.

My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)

A conductor should reconcile himself to the realization that regardless of his approach or temperament the eventual result is the same-the orchestra will hate him.

I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.

I never read bad reviews about myself, because my friends invariably tell me about them.

George, if you had to do it all over, would you fall in love with yourself again?

So little time and so little to do.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

Debbie Reynolds is as wistful as an iron foundry.

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?

I played an unsympathetic part -- myself.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about strangers," I replied, "but friends, certainly."

Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.

Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.

Ballet is the fairies' baseball.

I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.

[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives.