P. G. Johnson Quotes

Proximity doesn't breed familiarity.

Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.

Lies are a tremendous karmic setback. Keep it up and you'll come back in the next life as something without a spine. You're not fine. And you don't have to be fine.

Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland?" Keith asked... "you all think you're Irish. What's the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lep­rechaun.

I had one class in the morning, the mysteriously named "Further Maths". It was two hours long and so deeply frightening that I think I went into a trance.

We Deveauxs preferred to talk you to death, rather than face you in physical combat.

We all know what we're doing. Whether we realize it or not.

Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?

We're going to die," Keith said, the moment he was gone. "This man is a serial killer. We're going to die, and he's going to bury us in his garden and build a shed on us.

Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.

Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table.

Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.

What tinfoil?" he asked.

Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like "tangentially Swedish" is not the best way to go.

It makes you very cool," he said, taking big, jumping steps to get in front of me. "CNN would interview you, for sure. Daughter of Flobie! But don't worry. I'll keep them back!

I guess life is full of maybes.

I'm Keith," he said, "and you're . . . clearly mad, but what's your name?

It could have been like a fairy tale. But fairy tales aren't real. Things don't work like that. There's a price for everything.

This wasn't a position she wanted to be in. And yet . . . yet she knew that she was going to do it anyway.

Salt. Wound. Together at last.

Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing!

Once again, her parents' problems had run through her life like a piece of heavy equipment, smashing everything in their way.

She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.

Something about this boat screamed, "I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!

No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong.

Sometimes it is worth any amount of suffering just to prevent giving your parents the opportunity to be right.

Harry Potter achieved a very special act of actual magic: it made it completely acceptable for an adult to carry around, read and enjoy a childrens book.

I ran like a thing that runs.

This is England," he explained. "Tell someone it's a procedure, and they'll believe you. The pointless procedure is one of our great natural resources.

Why Paris? Paris needs no reason. Paris is its own reason.

I'm the last of the mad ones.

Hot tea," he said, holding the cups. "It's just wrong.

Oh, the ongoing love affair between hair and mouths. Hair always goes for the mouth. The mouth opens, and hair says, "I'm going in! I'm going in!" like a manic cave diver.

All right. Normal rules apply." "Right." The man walked off, leaving us. "What are the normal rules?" I asked. "He walks away and has a tea break and doesn't ask any questions.

Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.

Although it was very cold, he wore no coat. I think some English people think coats are for the weak.

My rule is: the second you find yourself doing something you hate, quit doing it.

The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.

I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid. All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every single British detective show ever made.

Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.

She had always thought applying to college would be exciting. Living away from home, meeting so many new people, Learning new things, making a few poor life desicisons.

You're...a demon hunter?' 'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved.

Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.

Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison. "It's both sad and incredibly impressive that you were all ready with that one.

It was clearly one of those mornings when I was particularly American.

Keep calm and carry on. Also, stay in and hide because the Ripper is coming.

I had always assumed the weekend was a holy tradition, respected by good people everywhere. Not so at Wexford.

The English play hockey in any weather. Thunder, lightning, plague of locusts... nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey, for the hockey will win.

Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.