Paula Poundstone Quotes

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name and apparently that's the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess.

I fall short of her standards. She made me buy cat food that hasn't been tested on animals. My cats took one bite of it, spit it out, and yelled, "Did no one test this?

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up - 'cause they're looking for ideas.

Deep-rooted happiness may require a sense of purpose. If I don't feel that I am in some small way contributing to the greater good, holding on to happiness is like carrying water in my hands.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up 'cause they're looking for ideas.