Penn Jillette Quotes

I'm an amazing mama's boy.

If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up.

I don't want anyone as president who promises to take care of me. I may be stupid, but I want a chance to try to be a grown-up and take care of my family.

Counterintuitive actions prove we can trust real knowledge and do the opposite of what we feel makes sense.

I will not counter the insanity of the PATRIOT Act with an overblown fear of my rights being taken away.

Technology adds nothing to art.

Cars mean nothing to me. I'm not a car guy.

My hair is way, way long. I've hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I've ridden in every car. I was never a hippie. It takes more than long hair.

To drive a car in rural America is freedom. Before I had a car, I'd never seen a rock and roll show, I'd never seen a comic or a show.

Hypocrisy is annoying but not evil. Someone who says one thing and does another has doubled their chances of being half right.

Never ascribe to conspiracy that which can be attributed to ignorance.

We all have friends we love dearly that couldn't pass for human in a strict Turing test.

You can't stop insane people from doing insane things with insane laws. That's insane!

I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.

A famous monk once said, I don't always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you.

It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more.

Read everything and be kind.

My whole take on libertarianism is simply that I don't know what's best for other people.

If you spend a lot of time lying to people, you think a lot about what the truth means.

I think the media spends a lot of time fooling itself.

Mentally ill people come from all belief systems.

I don't travel in circles where people say, 'I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith.' That's just a long-winded religious way to say 'Shut up.'

The most important part of life is work, it's the flow, it's getting stuff done, feeling like you're doing something.

It's only the losers named Dave that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think. They're named Dave.

Jay-Z, he knows precisely who he's going for - 14-year-old white suburban girls.

Juggling is very, very straightforward; very, very black and white; you're manipulating objects, not people. And that's always appealed to me.

Magic is the Special Olympics of entertainment.

For better or worse, in the 21st century, reality shows are the variety show.

It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on.

Everybody is designing magic iPhone apps that do things that are really, really beautiful, but a really important thing about magic is that the gimmick has to be ugly.

Even if I disagree with Obama on many, many things, he is certainly qualified to be president. He is certainly competent to be president.

Cheerios bring back memories. I actually don't think I ate them much as a kid, though; maybe it's some sort of Jungian memory, I don't know. But they have so much sugar, it's great.

If you want to turn out an atheist child, unconditional love constantly is a good way to do it.

In reality, many people let go of religion later in life.

The only difference between Obama and Bush is that Obama is killing more people.

Bob Barr is not crazy enough for my taste.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

Poker would have never gotten on TV when we only had three networks.

Asking someone else to do something immoral is immoral.

The reason I'm an I.B.M.-type guy today is that I really needed a laptop back in 1986, and I just couldn't wait for the Powerbook.

The Tea Party claims to want small government.

The vast majority of people who have guns never hurt anybody.

If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.

I came to magic absolutely hating magic on a very, very deep level.

Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.

Counterintuitive action makes a fellow feel smart.

Charities are really good. To a certain extent, the ones you pick are arbitrary.

'Celebrity Apprentice' has more integrity and is the most straightforward show I've ever seen.

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

I've been fired from a situational comedy with a script they wrote specifically for me because of my voice.