Penn Jillette Quotes

As much as I disagreed with every second of 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' the fact that it is out made me jump for joy.

There are performers who have built their whole career doing magic on TV and can't really perform live at all - don't really have jobs and skills.

There's no job in show business that's harder than any other job outside show business.

I started out as a juggler, so I know what it means to spend eight hours a day, seven days a week practicing something that people just dismiss with a wave of hand.

When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing.

All David Blaine is is a good-looking magician.

Trey Parker did 'Book of Mormon.' It's the best Broadway show I've ever seen. He does 'South Park.' It's wonderful.

Performers have the right to say what they want to, and anyone paying money has the right to accept or reject the art and entertainment that's available.

I love when violent, dangerous art is done by people who are not violent and dangerous. I love that when George Romero was making 'Dawn of the Dead,' he was coaching his son's little league team.

I live in Vegas, and I see people by the side of the road with cardboard signs who seem like they might have tried that spending their way out of debt thing.

We celebrities are desperate pigs.

The fact is that violence gives you a rush.

'Psycho' is fascinating philosophically, because the point of 'Psycho' is that everything that's bad happens because of love.

I've voted Libertarian as long as I can remember, but I don't really remember much before the Clintons and the Bushes. Those clans made a lot of us bugnutty.

Everybody wants clean, safe energy. Some people think nuclear is the way to go. Some people think coal is the way to go. Some people think wind is the way to go. And there's always balances on that.

I didn't learn fire-eating to conquer my fears. I learned fire-eating because I desperately wanted to be in show business.

I don't think I'm made of the right stuff to be a politician. I think I'm made to be a loose cannon.

Thou shalt not take anything on faith

I don't speak for all Libertarians any more than Sean Penn speaks for all Democrats.

Make deals with people, not paper.

I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment.

Someone who is a good person should have no fear of the government whatsoever.

Well, it's not really the right word, but freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend to find out how to get people more of it.

A two-party system is way too good for those two parties.

Two things have always been true about human beings. One, the world is always getting better. Two, the people living at that time think it's getting worse.

I get along so much better with fundamentalist Christians than I do with wishy-washy liberals, who want everyone to get along.

I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight.

How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do.

Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.

When you tell other people to do stuff they don't know how to do, they tend to freak out.

'Zolten' is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog.

I'm really happy with all the art that was inspired by religion, and I think I'd be tickled to little tiny pieces if art in the future was inspired by other things.

I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the rules.

I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

I've always wanted to make the world a more rational place. I'm still working on it.

If you can just convince the dope people that the gun people are right and the gun people that the dope people are right, we could actually live in a lot more freedom.

I have a very specific definition of censorship. Censorship must be done by the government or it's not censorship.

I have more contact with people who consume, for lack of a better word, my product than any other performers.

I, my own damn self, am not a Tea Party supporter. I disagree with them on social liberties, our overseas wars, Obama's birthplace, Sarah Palin, and the conspicuous absence of tea at their rallies.

I like things matching. I have an upright bass, a drum kit and a grand piano that's the same color. I tend to overthink things.

I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out all the lights, and in the dark, read my books.

I love the feeling of shredded wheat. I love healthy bird food with a fun-to-eat feel. Then you spray them with sugar, and I'm there.

But [he] had lost god, and all his family and friends were staying behind with his imaginary friend. A silly dream goes away and takes with it your whole real life.

Astrology is a cousin of racism.

Has any non-dipshit man ever used the word "ladies" not followed by the word "room"?

In any conflict, the crazier party generally wins.

My body really, really wanted to reproduce when I was 15. It took a lot of civilization, socialization, willpower and some emulsion polymerization technology for me not to reproduce at 15.

My mom, if you asked her if she was interested in whether or not people gambled, would say no.