Peter Cook Quotes

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them.

One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it.

I am blind -- but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' . . . I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.

You realize that suicide's a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.

Now I tell you the downside of this is you feel awful, but the upside is you feel terrific.

If there's one thing I can't bear, it's when hundreds of old men come creeping in through the window in the middle of the night and throw all manner of garbage over me. I can't bear that.

Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.

I went to the University of Life and was chucked out.

We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages.

The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room.

Playing rugby at school I once fell on a loose ball and, through ignorance and fear, held on despite a fierce pummelling. After that it took me months to convince my team-mates I was a coward.

I am very interested in the Universe - I am specialising in the Universe and all that surrounds it.

The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.

I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully.

Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.