R. H. Dana Quotes

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.

A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.

Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.

That which does not kill you isn't finished.

The energy problems that we face today were built up over a long period of time and are not going to be solved overnight.

Choosing to be loved and to take the leap to get married younger than most of my friends was not a career-limiting decision for me.

My blessed California, you are so wise. You render death abstract, efficient, clean. Your afterlife is only real estate, And in his kingdom Death must stay unseen.

Teach us the names of what we have destroyed.

Poetry offers a way of understanding and expressing existence that is fundamentally different from conceptual thought.

Everyone enjoys stories of double lives and secret identities. Children have Superman; intellectuals have Wallace Stevens.

The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.

If it feels right and I'm not going against any energy in myself or the situation, there would be no limit.

The simple act of smiling at people makes the world a better place. Unless it's the day you decide to walk around with your dong out.

We all know that television is better for women as they get into their 40s. You could be more three-dimensional, not just the wife or the mother.

If you put Willem Dafoe, Liam Neeson and James Woods in a room together, there wouldn't be room for anyone else.

Remember that you create your world. It’s not what happens to you, but how you choose to deal with it.

Clearly, children's charities struggle to find private sources of money to sustain their benevolent programs.

The ignorant man marvels at the exceptional; the wise man marvels at the common; the greatest wonder of all is the regularity of nature.

Visiting Anderson Silva. He's doing AMAZING! Leg is healing fast and will be walking without crutches in 30 days.

The world is dying for want, not of good preaching, but of good hearing.

Please don't let all the freak storms and climate change lead you to believe in freak storms and climate change.

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.

Today I saw a guy who looked like me in a funhouse mirror. He looked at me like, Hey, that's how I look reflected in the pond!

There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.

I like school very much, and I'll go to college if my career slows down. But kids go to college to be where I am today. Not to put college down, but for me, it would be digressing.

There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.

Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.

Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.

As hipster chicks age, and their skin starts to sag, tramp stamps sink below waistbands, like the sun slipping into the sea.

Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!

Some writers, rejecting the idea which science had reached, that reefs of rocks could be due in any way to "animalcules," have talked of electrical forces, the first and last appeal of ignorance.

Our port facilities should have the freedom to levy a market-based container fee which will provide new revenue and make our system more equitable to the American taxpayer and American manufacturers.

If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.

The ice caps are melting, which we see over and over again. Yeah, they're melting on Mars, too!

Businesses should no longer be allowed to depress wages by hiring illegal labor and then falsely claim that Americans don't want to do the jobs.

What's happening in Russia of course is you have a country watching out for its national interest.

We don't know what those other cycles were caused by in the past. Could be dinosaur flatulence, you know, or who knows?

The Californians are an idle, thriftless people, and can make nothing for themselves. The country abounds in grapes, yet they buy, at a great price, bad wine made in Boston.

Everyday is filled with opportunities to take a quiet moment

It's not difficult for me to hide emotion, since I've always hidden it in my personal life.

The dreamer dies, but never dies the dream

One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?

Don't give up your life because balance is important, but when you're young you have energy, use it!

When people come to see my stand-up, they get a chance to see my characters interact with each other.

I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.

I don't find biology as interesting as politics and humanism. I talk more about existential stuff.