R.L. Stine Quotes

Read. Read. Read. Just don't read one type of book. Read different books by various authors so that you develop different styles.

Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special.

Many adults feel that every children's book has to teach them something.... My theory is a children's book... can be just for fun.

Sometimes it helps to scold yourself, to give yourself advice.

I feel happy to terrify kids.

When I write, I try to think back to what I was afraid of or what was scary to me, and try to put those feelings into books.

The only lesson is, you gotta keep at it.

Everything that has happened to me has been amazing and surprising.

I've had a very sheltered life. What can happen to you if you stay home writing all day?

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?

If we all die and there is no God, then it's just eternal unconsciousness, you'll never know, but if you're wrong... you'll know forever.

I believe that kids as well as adults are entitled to books of no socially redeeming value.

Get out of our schools God, get out of our textbooks God, get out of our government God, go away God, go away God, go away God, Katrina hits, God, where are you?

Normally, I spend a week on the outline and take two weeks to write the book.

We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.

You have no control [over natural disaster]. That's what's scary about it. You're helpless. That feeling of helplessness is really scary.

When I was a kid my family was really poor and I remember one Halloween I wanted to dress up really scary and my parents came home with a duck costume. I wore that costume for years! I hated it.

I used to get a haircut every Saturday so I would never miss any of the comic books. I had practically no hair when I was a kid!

I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips.

I've never dreamed of a story idea. I have such boring dreams.

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning.

The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don't care! If they're offended by the truth, that's their issue!

I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.

I've never turned into a bee - I've never been chased by a mummy or met a ghost. But many of the ideas in my books are suggested by real life.

I drive a lot in the summertime, but after that, I don't drive if there's snow predicted for anywhere in 500 miles.

If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.

Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say 'find your masculine side?' And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I'm not interested.

I do like a lot of things that a lot of adults would scoff at. 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' 'Looney Tunes.'

If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.

I'm obsessed with radio. It's a good start to Sunday morning.

After spending 22 years in Ohio, I love everything about New York.

I don't hate cats...as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.

I have a great office.

I have a cheat-sheet for each one of my characters about their personality, the way they look, etc. So there is no possible way that I could have writer's block.

I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.

It's my job, too, to keep up with pop culture and what the kids are into 'cause you don't want to sound like an old man trying to write for kids. I spend a lot of my time spying on them.

If you do enough planning before you start to write, there's no way you can have writer's block. I do a complete chapter by chapter outline.

I got the chance to do things that I dreamed of when I was a kid: I got to travel around the world; I had my own 'Goosebumps' attraction at Disney World; I've been on TV and had three TV series.

I haven't written a young-adult book in years. I'm also doing six 'Goosebumps' books a year now.

If you want to be a writer, don't worry so much about writing. Read as much as you can. Read as many different writers as you can. Soak up the styles.

The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it.

God is a crutch? Yeah, well, not believing in God is a coma.

Initially, the laser was called an invention looking for a job.

I've killed hundreds of teenagers. Hundreds. And I didn't know why. Why did I enjoy doing it so much? Why? And then I realized - I had a teenager at home!

Comedy, if it's done well, can reflect the mood of a nation. It can be a mirror to who we are, what we believe in, what we are like.

I should be concentrating on writing pages.

People don't realize, or maybe they've forgotten, that there was a time in history when standup comedy wasn't something that you had to hide your kids' ears from.

Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem.

I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.

I guess I'm way too kind and generous, and a saint - if you can believe that!