Richard Kadrey Quotes

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.

He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.

I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard.

Don't drink too much." "When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop." "I'll have to get a shorter name." "I'll have to forget how to spell it.

Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.

Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT.

Chasing a burning girl down a city street is a lot harder than it sounds. Civilians tend to stop and stare and this turns them into human bowling pins. Slow whiny bowling pins.

Let me finish my beer." (Stark) "Of course. The end of the world can wait.(Kasabian)

All losers are romantics. It's what keeps us from blowing our brains out.

I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes ever.

I'd like to think they're staring at me because of my white-hot animal magnetism, but I'm not Elvis. I'm Lobster Boy, hear me roar.

We must always look after our friends, even when they are foolish. Especially when they are foolish.

In this life, no matter what anyone promises you, what allegiances of love or fealty they swear or what gods they pray to, you will never have more than what you have at this moment.

Don't talk. Kill it." That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.

If I learned anything Downtown, it's this: the only real difference between an enemy and a friend is the day of the week.

I can deal with fighting in the arena in Hell, but laundry and dishes put the fear of God in me.

Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence. Or insanity.

God is the great janitor of the universe. Why things don't work is that we have a janitor in charge, and we keep looking for the landlord.

The ashes of your existence will fertilize the soil for the universe to follow.

I've come a long way to get nowhere at all, I thought. And I've spent everything I have to get here.

Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.

When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.

Don't drink too much.""When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.""I'll have to get a shorter name.""I'll have to forget how to spell it.

Don't talk. Kill it."That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.

Nothing nice happens to murdered women.

Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.

Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence.Or insanity.

If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says.