Ricky Gervais Quotes

America champions the underdog. We champion the underdog until he's not the underdog anymore, and he annoys us.

I've never done anything for the common consensus. I do things to please me. If you are happy with something yourself, you become bulletproof.

I don't believe in about 2700 Gods. Christians don't believe in 2699 Gods. They're nearly as atheistic as me.

If all the Atheists & Agnostics left America, they'd lose 93% of The National Academy of Sciences & less than 1% of the prison population.

I always chose all my friends on whether they were funny. What's a better way to pass the time than laughing or smiling?

Saying atheism is a belief system is like saying not going skiing is a hobby.

Whether you understand they evolved over billions of years or believe that a God made them all one afternoon, please be kind to animals.

Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science.

Someone asked me what three things I would save if my house was on fire. I said my cat, my salamander and one of the twins.

The most important thing in comedy - apart from empathy, which I think is important even if disguised - is surprise. I like surprising people with the fact that something's even a joke at all.

I'm quite squeamish, really. I'm philistine and unsophisticated - not because of my great discerning palate but other reasons. Some are moral grounds, some texture.

Why buy a book when you can join a library?

If I do eat meat, it's got to be ethical. I want to know that it lived a great life before it was killed humanely.

I could eat a knob at night.

There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.

You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.

You now have the least amount of time you've ever had, to do everything you've ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one

Since there is absolutely no logical reason to assume there is an afterlife, I decided to make the life I have now as much fun as possible.

That's the amazing thing about life. You can just rub it out, like a blackboard, and start again.

Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it.

She said, 'I'm your biggest fan,' and I said, 'Who are you?' She said, 'Paris Hilton.'

Everything you do is autobiographical. Yeah, I grew up in a town called Redding and I had older brothers and sisters so it's all my memories of growing up.

Just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that was done this year . . . by cosmetic surgeons.

The only reason I work out is so I can eat more cheese.

If you're surrounded by idiots, you're the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don't like smart asses.

My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don't get run over. Or stabbed.

Try something. And never be afraid to fail. That failure is useful too. It's just another building block.

You do your own thing and you see if you survive.

Piracy doesn't kill music, boy bands do.

Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty... satisfaction. That's what I'm... you know. Trust people and they'll be true to you. Treat them greatly, and they will show themselves to be great.

I think everyone has the ability to be loved.

Whatever else is happening, things are better in the sun.

I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.

If David Brent is the best thing that I ever come up with, then so be it. What are you supposed to do, time the best thing you do for just before you die?

The truth doesn't hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. It's better to know the truth.

Popularity and democracy aren't a judge, they're just stats.

It's quite easy to make a load of people laugh, it's often a reflex action, but I think to make them cry is harder without manipulating them.

I don't see myself as part of an acting fraternity or a comedy fraternity.

Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny.

Spirituality really lost its way when it became a stick to beat people with: ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.

I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself.'

I'd like to thank God for making me an atheist.

Never fear the truth. No bad can come of discussing a true subject. No bad at all.

It's a privilege to be in such a great category of people and... I don't believe in God, so I'd like to thank dogs. Dogs have given me everything.

I'm a militant fundamentalist atheist. I'm going to get on a crowded train, unbutton my coat and say rational things. People will be hurt.

The best way to avoid criticism is never do anything ever. Or, do what you love, have a great life & let others spend their time criticising.

I'm basically a 'do unto others' type person. I don't have any religious feelings because I'm an atheist, but I live my life like there's a God. And if there was he'd probably love me.

Being honest is what counts. To make the ordinary extraordinary is so much better than starting with the extraordinary.

I don't do anything for the money.

Atheism is the lack of belief in a god (or gods). It makes no claim. It merely rejects the claim that a god (or gods) exists. Nothing more.