Sandra Bernhard Quotes

I'm studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself.

My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world.

Love is the only shocking act left on the face of the earth.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

I don't believe in karma.

At no time do I come from a cynical point of view. I'm coming from a concerned point of view.

When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?

I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within the group.

Not everybody is cookie-cutter. You just can't be. There are too many variables in life.

Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty.

Madonnas got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.

Gayness is a non-issue.

Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest of our lives?

People want to be famous, they want to be loved, they want to be accepted. They want to push aside their past and the things that have been embarrassing to them.

I think I've drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she's gone. She had it all.

I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.

When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records.

The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs.

I think people are a little bit intimidated by me. You know, I'm not exactly a wilting flower, so I think they're a little bit scared of me sometimes.

Random things make me laugh.

You have to take the basics of feminism and the kind of outline of it and do what you do with it. You have to make things work for your own life.

Purim, one of my favorite holidays. It's like the original drag queen's holiday. It's when all the Jewish men go for it and feel no guilt for a change.

If you come home to a household of chaos and anger and fear, you're not going to feel protected from the world.

You don't need to be famous to live a life as an artist.

My family wasn't the Brady Bunch. They were the Broody Bunch.

Be who you are and I'll be who I am. I refuse to take sides, because everybody has their story.

Morality is standing by your friends, standing by people when it's not popular. It's sacrificing things on a big international stage, and sometimes it's sacrificing your basic comforts.

At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore.

I definitely want to be with somebody who doesn't feel lost or in my shadow.

How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?

It's nobody's business how you do something.

It's up to couples, to individuals, to have a trust between each other.

Once you're heterosexual and comfortable with that, you don't need to take out an announcement every day.

I tend to go against the grain because when I start to see that everybody's trying to shock, I try not to. I just do stuff that's subtler, more emotional, and I think that shocks people.

I've always loved being at the eye of the storm creatively with people that I find exciting and glamorous. So sometimes I got sidetracked in my career and maybe I would have done more TV or film.

I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

I don't want someone coming in and passing judgment on my life.

I didn't belong when I was in high school. Now people are trying to buy lips.

I certainly wish Gov. Palin no harm. I'd just like her to explain to me how she can hold such outrageous views...and then go back to Alaska.

On one side you have book burners, Congressional wives and Pat Robertson. On the other side, you have vulgar comedians, foul-mouthed rap groups and Dennis Hopper—all your choices should be so easy.

Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

I like the energy of live performance.