Simon Hoggart Quotes

I know of no wars started by anyone to impose lack of religion on someone else.

Fish have water, the bushmen of the Kalahari have sand, and Houstonians have interior décor.

I know of no wars started by anyone to impose lack of religion on someone else. We have lethal Sunni v Shia, Catholic against Protestant, but no agnostic suicide bombers attack crowded atheist pubs.

The formal Washington dinner party has all the spontaneity of a Japanese imperial funeral.

A British lawyer would like to think of himself as part of that mysterious entity called The Law; an American lawyer would like a swimming pool and two houses.

While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.

Living in New York is like being at some terrible late-night party. You're tired, you've had a headache since you arrived, but you can't leave because then you'd miss the party.

I've served on five different juries, and many of them were bonkers in their own way.

Most successful American politicians look well-fed on endorsements, campaign contributions and chicken dinners.

Canada is not so much a country as a clothesline nearly 4,000 miles long. St John's in Newfoundland is closer to Milan, Italy than to Vancouver.

The Chinese do make vast quantities of wine for home consumption, but you wouldn't want to drink it yourself.

There are few tribes more loathsome than the American Right, and their vicious use of the shortcomings in the NHS to attack Barack Obama's attempts at health reform are a useful reminder.

Switzerland still has a huge share of the watch market, all advertised at the airport on illuminated hoardings. Gosh, they are ugly.

Poor Harper Seven Beckham, having to live with that name all her life. It's the Boy Named Sue syndrome; at the very least it will toughen her up.

If you read the 'Daily Mail,' you would imagine that the British middle classes lead lives of unremitting misery.

They're called Virgin Trains because they don't go all the way.

Reagan was a flesh and blood version of any other mute national emblem, say the Statue of Liberty. Everyone knows what she represents, but no one would dream of asking her opinion.

Reagan is the only man to take the presidency as a part-time job, a means of filling up the otherwise empty hours of retirement.

Peter Mandelson is the only man I know who can skulk in broad daylight.

In Washington, success is just a training course for failure.

Seeing John Major govern the country is like watching Edward Scissorhands try to make balloon animals.

Even I would find a book about my life pretty dull.

Remember how Margaret Thatcher came to believe that abroad was more important than at home? Didn't do her much good.

The nanny seemed to be extinct until 1975, when, like the coelacanth, she suddenly and unexpectedly reappeared in the shape of Margaret Thatcher.

Canada is not so much a country as a clothesline nearly 4 000 miles long. St John's in Newfoundland is closer to Milan Italy than to Vancouver.

Living in New York is like being at some terrible late-night party. You're tired you've had a headache since you arrived but you can't leave because then you'd miss the party.